Millie Melberg is a crazy bojangles old woman who joined the church recently and is the Ward music director, she is the Chorister for Sacrament Meeting and Relief Society and picks all the hymns and the like. Well, one sunday in Relief Society she is leading the music and suddenly brings everyone to a stop. She begins fiddling with her glasses and says "well i am just so sorry but i can't see straight. Last night i was beating my dog with a chain and the chain flew back and hit me in the face and broke my glasses!" Hmm...
Another Millie story, i think two weeks ago we had one of those 900 persons joining us weekends so preparing the sacrament was taking a little longer than usual so when we finished the hymn's last verse the piano kept on playing and we all stopped singing as you would do in this situation. However, Millie is still singing loud and proud and motioning to the congregation to keep singing with her... We then realize that she is singing the fifth and sixth verses of the hymn on the opposite side of the page, and trying to fit those words to the wrong tune. Basically we all tried to join in but it was just a big crazy mess. My advice to you, don't combine one hymns words and another hymns tune... it just doesn't work out.
A few weeks ago the first counselor in the bishopric stands up in Elders Quorum and says, "Now My wife has made about 60,000 loaves of bread in all here years. Jesus Christ only fed five thousand, so my wife has surpassed the Savior"
Relief society last week while talking about doing temple work for the dead... "It has been statistically proven that 9 out of 10 people in the Spirit World accept the work done for them"... I'm not quite sure if that can be statistically proven...
Two weeks ago our relief society lesson was on the word of wisdom which translated into "The ideal weight is 120 pounds and anything more is unhealthy so we all need to eat better" and the poor lady who got up to lead the music at the end (millie was absent) was quite large and so she said "I'm gonna be the best fat lady you ever met!"
All in all, this ward is crazy, and probably the worst ward to bring investigators too. Nevertheless, the full time missionaries (ooh, can you imagine being called to pocatello, idaho?) are sucessful, they've had a baptism while i've been up here. That just tells me that the church must be true, if an investigator can come here where people ask "Now is Agency really free?" and claim their wives have surpassed Jesus, and yet they are still able to feel the spirit and be converted. Like i said, getting to be in this ward is a treat!
Hey Madeline! Loved the writing on West Yellowstone Ward! Thanks so much for the postcards for the kids - it made them sooooo excited to see Montana, and of course, you!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see you perform & I'm gearing up for WYW!
Love,
Aunt Camille
dear mads--"ditto" to the postcard comment from camille. we had walked in the door from hebgan and there was your postcard. noah was like--"they must miss me already." now about the wyw--lots of laughs. i think we have all
ReplyDeleteearned the title "A PECULIAR PEOPLE."
first to millie--she's a woman of my character, though i do not beat my dog, i have interrupted a song and the primary singing by saying "whoa, commercial break" and then i get us (me) back on track and off we go. according to my statistics (with my own experience,) putting words of one song to another tune is quite common--we choristers like to call it the "reeses peanut butter cup" theory. i can explain that to you later.
your bishopric counselor must have been in a tiff with his wife and trying to get in good with her--hhheeelllloooo--who made the world in which the wheat could grow, that she might have flower for her loaves of breadand who created the person that invented the bosch bread maker so that her many loaves could be produced?? i know, i know, i sound jealous because i have yet to produce one loaf of bread.
regarding the spirit world and accepting the gospel--i would like to take a "pass" miss 14 on her a.c.t. test is smart enough to know that she does not do averages, probability, or percentages (unless of course it is tithing)
and lastly, your relief society, i do have the statistics and 120 is a lie and from the adversary. scales are a measurement created by man. i meet evey tues. night with a group of lds women that all break the word of wisdom trying to maintain that 120 number on the scale. God measures the quality of our health and the quality of our heart and soul. i wish i had been there to give the woman that led the singing a hug--no doubt that must have been a "pig chaser" moment for her. next time you see her, give her a big hug from your PECULIAR, MISS 14 ON HER ACT TEST, PIG CHASIN' AUNT.
i love you and can hardly wait to see your other performances. i do have a request as i am curious by nature, do you think your boss would let me have a tour of the playmill? like where do you get ready, keep costumes? change costumes? see a script? oh and also your dwelling place? i'd be much obliged. rock on girl.
miss 14 on her act test should proofread her comments. you are really going to think i am domestically challenged--i know that you use "flour" and not "flower" to make bread:0
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